Shikamaru Babysits
by PoisonSnowFrog
Summary: ...and that is how Shikamaru found himself babysitting the world's most troublesome trio. Perfect. Just what he'd wanted to do on his day off.


**Title: Shikamaru Babysits **

**Author: PoisonSnowFrog**

**Tadaa! It's my first story! Look out folks, it's gonna be a good one! Anyways… please leave a comment at the end for me. I'd love to hear how I did from everybody. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>A puff of smoke exploded in the main office of the Hokage and a very bewildered Shikamaru was left standing there, looking very confused.<p>

"I will now read your mission," said Tsunade, as though nothing had just happened. "Even though your mission sounds simple don't take it lightly because this is a B rank mission. Now your mission is-"

"Wait!" said Shikamaru, who was just summoned with the smoke, standing there woozy and like he was about to throw up. "I was in a battle! Can't another ninja do it? Like Kakashi or Gai?

"Both of them are away on missions," said Tsunade.

"Then a different jounin," asked Shikamaru.

"I used the one that was left to substitute for you," mumbled Tsunade sounding more annoyed.

"Then another ninja," said Shikamaru.

"All the others have already failed," said Tsunade so softly that you could barely hear her.

"What!" said Shikamaru. There was a pause for a few seconds in which Shikamaru was busy thinking of over 2000 things that could defeat most of the people in the village. But not one of them were right.

"You must," said Tsunade in a voice that sounded like she was in the army, "babysit Konohamaru and his team! They are right next door. I will now teleport you to them-"

"No wait! I can wal-"

POOF.

All that was left in the office was smoke and Shikamaru's angry face appeared in the window next door. Suddenly the nausea hit and Shikamaru gulped and ran to the bathrooms. He came back looking a lot less green and wiping his mouth muttering, "What a pain."

That's what he was muttering until he saw Konohamaru and his team, then he started muttering, "What a pain in the butt."

Konohamaru was tied to a chair, his hands in shackles in a dark room with a spotlight on him and his team mates tied together to the chair as well. Tsunade was standing there too with a stern look on her face. Then she said, "Your assignment has changed. Konohamaru has asked to be treated like the third Hokage."

Suddenly, remembering that the Third was actually _dead_, Shikamaru got an evil look in his eyes. "Should I bury him with Hidan?" he asked innocently.

"Who's Hidan?" asked Konohamaru in a voice so energetic it made Shikamaru want to take a nap.

"You don't want to know," said both Shikamaru and Tsunade in an evil way that made listeners want to crawl into a hole and hide. Quietly. Konohamaru changed his mind.

"I'd rather be babysat." His team mates sighed with relief, apparently they thought he might have gone through with it.

"Well then," said Tsunade and she clapped her hands. "You can leave now." Then the chains fell to the ground and the three scared kids scampered out of the room with Shikamaru strolling after them muttering to himself again.

"Great," said Shikamaru. "So much for my nap." And with that he broke into a slow jog. By the time he found the three kids they were in a restaurant, hustled in a circle whispering. He knew he should have stopped them but they were over fifty meters away so he just sat down and waited

..._30 minutes later..._

Shikamaru sat there with a blank look on his face getting more ticked off by the second. _'This is taking forever'_ thought Shikamaru. _'How long can one waiter take to get my drink?' _

First he'd wanted a coffee, then they had come back running saying that the coffee machine had been stolen. Then he'd ordered a coke but apparently all of the coke had been lying opened and spilled on the floor.

"Those kids should be done by now," muttered Shikamaru. When he looked to where they had been before, whispering, they were gone. Figures. It was clear that they were behind the restaurant's problems in getting him a drink so he took the serviettes and cut out exploding tags.

That's when a _new_ waiter came up and said in a muffled but extra polite voice, "The waiter has been stolen. There is no soda either sir, so instead I got you a water."

"Is that so?" asked Shikamaru as his shadows surged towards the waiter.

The fake waiter's coat rippled as he stepped back. Inside it there was a mess of pushing and grabbing as the three-man-team prepared for Shikamaru's attack. They lit 15 exploding tags when somebody –something- tapped them on the shoulder.

"Hey keep still Magie!" whispered Konohamaru.

"It wasn't me," said Magie in a hurt voice.

"You then?" Konohamaru asked his snotty-nosed friend a little freaked out.

Shikamaru blinked. He knew that they were at Naruto's level but this was just ridiculous. He took out three shurikins and sighed as he threw them to pin the waiter on the ground outside of the restaurant, where he had dragged him.

Konohamaru's head poked out of the coat with an enlarged head and watering eyes and a bump on his head that was taller than him.

"Hey why did you-" Konohamaru was stopped when he noticed Shikamaru was counting the clouds in the sky.

Irritation turned his face red faster than a car speeding through a Formula One race. "Hey, listen to me! Or else we will throw our tags at you!"

"Go ahead," said Shikamaru in a lazy voice, "but first you should help your friends out of the coat."

"Mommy, mommy! Look!" said a little kid pointing to the coat which had just caught alight from the exploding tags on it.

Everybody started running away and looking for their children, and in all that chaos Konohamaru was running around the coat screaming, "What should I do?" with his hands cupped to his face like a poor imitation of The Scream. "Water water water!"

"What a pain," muttered Shikamaru as he handed over the water that the three-man-team disguised as the phony waiter had brought him.

Konohamaru ran like a hamster for its food, trying to help to put the flames out. But, as he was pouring it over the blazing coat in which Magie and snotty-nose were still trapped, Magie's head popped out and said, "No! Konohamaru! Remember the acid!"

_Huh what acid? Oh__, that acid_, he thought as he saw a hole of green liquid sizzling through the coat. That's when he went back into The Scream mode but soon after ran into pole and fell on top of the conveniently placed fire extinguisher. Which brought him back into hamster mode as he scurried towards the coat.

That's when it went wrong(er). He tripped over a deaf granny (because there's _always_ one) who hadn't heard the commotion and the fire extinguisher went flying, only to explode, making a nuclear wave of foam. The three-man-team yelled and tried to dodge the white stuff but only managed to trip over themselves. Apparently though the granny was also blind because she didn't notice the foam covering her body and hideous scarf.

When the three kids emerged from the foam, covered in the white stuff and panting, they heard snoring coming from the lawn nearby. They all cowered behind Konohamaru as the boy attempted to poke Shikamaru awake from where he had fallen asleep amongst all of the commotion.

Shikamaru woke up, gave a lazy yawn and muttered, "I knew this would happen." Then he said slowly, "So let me get this straight. I have to babysit a snot monster, a goat and cape-man for 1-3 weeks?"

All three of them nodded before realizing they were just dissed.

"This is going to be tiring," muttered Shikamaru. And with that he went back to sleep.

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><p><strong>So…? <strong>

**REVIEW or I'll scullabach you! (ie: saw off your ears with a blunt pebble)**


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